On April 23, 2010 I returned from the England Leeds Mission, a time and place and experience that I will never forget. Literally... I can't forget about it. I want to serve another mission SO bad, it was one of the greatest experiences of my life and not a day goes by that I don't think about my mission or remember it in some way. It has become a huge part of my life and has definitely shaped the person I am. I tell people all the time that I would go back on a mission in a heartbeat if I could! I loved teaching the gospel and bringing other people to the knowledge that there is a God who loves them and that Jesus Christ is there to save us from our sins and to lift us up.
Anyway my point is that today as I was doing my daily scripture study I was reading a talk by a man named Elder Russell M. Nelson called "Missionaries serve to make life better for God's children." That is what I miss! As I was thinking about this and my desire to serve another mission... the Spirit whispered a passage of scripture to me spoken by one of the greatest missionaries to have ever walked this earth, Alma the Younger (who had a VERY successful mission among the Lamanites). He says, "O that I were an angel, and could have the wish of mine heart, that I might go forth and speak with the trump of God, with a voice to shake the earth, and cry repentance unto every people! Yea, I would declarie unto every soul, as with the voice of thunder, repentance and the plan of redemption that they should repent and come unto our God, that there might not be more sorrow upon all the face of the earth. But behold, I am a man, and do sin in my wish; for I ought to be content with the things which the Lord hath allotted unto me." And I knew that as Elder Nelson says later on in his talk, "Missionary service has helped to shape their divine destiny." My mission has made me everything that I am today and has changed who I am and where I am going in life. Instead of still wishing I was on my mission, doing missionary work in that way. I should be grateful that the Lord gave me that opportunity to change my life and see others lives changed. I should be grateful to be back in America and getting a fantastic education at a fantastic school like BYU-Idaho. I should be grateful to be near friends and family again. I should be content with what the Lord gave me, and is still giving me! I think I am finally coming to terms with letting my mission go... just over 10 months after returning. It's been a long process, but I know that the Lord has much greater things in store for me. It reminds me of another talk given by Elder Jeffery R. Holland called "The Best is Yet to Be" and he is talking about Lot's wife who looks back to Sodom and Gomorrah (even though the Lord told her not to) and turns into a pillar of salt. Elder Holland says, "Just what did Lot's wife do that was so wrong? As a student of history, I have thought about that and offer a partial answer. Apparently, what was wrong with Ltos' wife was that she wasn't just
looking
back; in her heart she wanted to
go
back. It would appear that even before she was past the city limits, she was already missing what Sodom and Gomorrah had offered her... So a more theological way to talk about Lot's wife is to say that she did not have faith. She doubted the Lord's ability to give her something better than she already had. Apparently, she thought that nothing that lay ahead could possibly be as good as what she was leaving behind." So in my conclusion of this particular blog... I must let my past stay in the past. It has obviously changed me, shaped me, taught me and in some cases (like my mission) blessed me immeasurably but life keeps moving on, and so must I. There is a bright, grand and beautiful future in front of me. I am ready to face it and enjoy today because someday I may look back on today and wish I had enjoyed it more fully. Here's to leaving my mission in the past but allowing the lessons I learned there and the way that it has shaped my divine destiny move with me to make a brighter future! :)
Temples have been something of a lifesaver to me. They have always been there for me when I needed somewhere to feel peace, a sanctuary of sorts. Whenever I am going through a hard time, I know that the temple will always be there, a shining beacon in my life. They are more than just beautiful buildings, they have been a saving grace in my life. I went to the temple today and just feel so much peace in my life because of it. I came home feeling like I was glowing and just filled with happiness. I know there is something different about temples. They're amazing.
