Crumpled up paper...

We talked this week in communications class about defensiveness, and some things that we do when we get defensive. So I called a friend of mine, because he said he had time to helpe, to fill out the assignment for class and explained all of the different mechanisms to him and starting asking him which ones he thought I was, or what I did when I was on the defensive. Then he told me that he couldn't remember all of them, so I decided to go through them one by one and he agreed that might work, when I started doing that he admitted that he wasn't paying attention or listening to what I had been saying. I got frustrated and disappointed. So I crumbled up the paper, told him it was fine and said goodbye. I put the crumpled piece of paper in my backpack. During this all he told me that one thing I do when I get defensive is that I just take "control" and end the conversation or say that I'm not gonna talk about it, or refuse to talk about things that I don't want to discuss. I guess this was a prime example of me doing this. Well two days later I am sitting in class and we start discussing the assignment and Sister McKenna chose some people to share their experiences and what others had told them about their defensiveness. Of course she turns to me, so I point to the smoothed-out paper sitting on my desk (luckily I had kept the crumpled paper in my backpack and pulled it out when we started talking) and told everyone about my experience. It was a big hit and a good visual lesson of my frustration. Yay for that little crumpled piece of paper!